[full of it]


Posted in Uncategorized by susieyarbs on July 7, 2009

two things: 1) i am an episode of medical mysteries, and 2) i’m having second, third, fourth, and fifth thoughts about going to school this fall.

1) my elbow, as we all know, has been hurting for a very long time.  on saturday, i woke up and it hurt extra bad, and in the shower i noticed it was really swollen.  i already had an appointment on monday (yesterday) to get a vaccine waiver for school and to talk about the elbow.  first i gave her all my reasons why i didn’t get my second MMR when i was a wee one (systemic inflammation, headaches, uveitis (twice), “floaters” in my field of vision), and then we started talking about my elbow.  well, friends, all of a sudden i remembered how, when i had uveitis the second time, the doctor asked me many, many times whether i had any joint pain (i never did).  then this doctor starts talking about sending me to a rheumatologist, because she thinks that, given my history with two bouts of uveitis (which is very odd, apparently), it’s entirely possible that the arthritis in my elbow (which it most definitely is, because it starts out stiff and gets better throughout the day as a i use it) is part of an auto-immune condition, possibly rheumatoid arthritis.

this exact same thing happened in an episode of medical mysteries; i wasn’t being dramatic up there.  the girl was way worse, with something way more aggressive, but she started out with unexplained uveitis and then, over the course of a year, lost almost all range of motion in her right elbow.  i think she also had lesions on her scalp or something.  anyway, she got all of those things treated individually and it took a long time for someone to put it all together.  i remember watching it thinking, oh, that’s weird, i also had uveitis and have pain in my right elbow.

yikes.  so i have an appointment with the rheumatologist on tuesday.

2) don’t even get me started.  i’ve been getting ready for this school thing since we moved here.  i’ve been looking forward to it more as something to do to fill the time than anything else.  now that i’m working full-time at a job that i actually like, with people that i actually like, i’m having a hard time with the idea of leaving it in order to go to school to get a credential that i will only use if i need to, not because i want to.  i think i’d be a good teacher, i think i’d enjoy it, but it’s not what i want to do as a career.  i don’t necessarily think i’ll teach, or need to teach, while we’re in california, so why would i get a california credential?  why don’t i wait until we’re back in texas, where the program will be MUCH faster and MUCH cheaper and there’s no worrying about transferring any kind of credential?  why shouldn’t i keep making the money i’m making now, in the job that i like?  where does it make sense for me to go back to school in the fall?  (do you want to know a real truth?  if i’m going to go back to school for any length of time, i’d rather go back and get a nursing degree.  not even an rn, just whatever, just something.  oh shit, did i say that out loud?)

it’s stressing me out.  i know it would take a lot of weight off john’s shoulders for me to have some real earning power, so the money-making isn’t all on him.  ugh.


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