[full of it]

PT, withdrawal, ‘poo (or lack thereof)

Posted in Uncategorized by susieyarbs on November 4, 2009

the skin on my fingertips with NOT STOP PEELING.

stitches are out now, swelling gone.  still a little bruised around one of the incisions for whatever reason.  i had my first physical therapy session yesterday and it was AWESOME.  i’m able to stand with my arm just resting by my side and swing it when i walk, which i haven’t been able to do for a long long time.  as i was leaving the building i had to make a conscious effort to not hold it bent and still like i have been.  already there are things i can do now with zero pain that used to make me cringe.  opening doors, mainly.  pushing, punching, throwing (hey, you know, john gets out of line sometimes).  scheduling the next sessions was (is) an absolute nightmare.  my schedule, as schedules go, is very rigid, and this woman didn’t quite grasp that.  “on tuesday i work until four, so i can do five” –“can you be here at four?”  no ma’am, i cannot.  we only scheduled four of the six sessions i need, i’m on some wait list that i think might be imaginary for the other two, and for two of the four i have i need to find shift coverage or work some magic on the zone charts.  we’ll see.

i mentioned something about percocet in my last entry, i believe.  i will never. never. never. take that shit again.  it fucked my world up.  john came home from work one day to find me in the middle of a full-blown meltdown.  the day after the last pill i took, i tried to go to sleep, but was experiencing what i’m 99% sure is restless legs syndrome.  don’t laugh, i know the commercials are kind of funny, but it was horrible.   it wasn’t just my legs, either.  it felt like something was in my abdomen, very low, creating the restless feeling.  no sleep whatsoever.  actually, that’s not true.  i slept enough to have the worst dreams (not dreams, legitimate nightmares) i’ve ever had.  one in particular, which i don’t care to go into.  it’s not even the content of it that got to me, it was the feeling that stayed with me.  the next day it stayed, the feeling and the creepy-crawly restlessness in my stomach and my legs, along with something new: goosebumps.  goosebumps about every five seconds.  emotionally, i can only call it dread.  i was convinced it would never end, ever.  i was convinced that i actually had RLS, that i would have to be on narcotics to sleep for the rest of my life.  i went back and forth between thinking (being certain) that we’d never be able to have a family, and that i was actually pregnant and it was part of what i was feeling.  sometime during the day i thought it might be percocet withdrawal, and even though my symptoms matched up perfectly with what i was reading online, i still didn’t think it would ever end.  something was blocking my rationality.  yes, i knew it was percocet withdrawal, but it would last forever.  i had absolutely zero appetite and ate nothing.  i was extremely exhausted from no sleep but completely unable to rest, which just compounded all of my emotions.  i cried off and on (mostly on) all day.  when john got home he took control of everything; got me in a really hot bath (which had the effect of numbing my legs and allowed me to relax a bit), made me eat some crackers to get my blood sugar up, and went around the corner to talk to the pharmacist.  she said that percocet has really fast addictive effects, but usually not this fast, not after four days.  i think the fact that my dose was the same as what they’d give a 200 lb man had something to do with it.  john gave me some advil pm and i managed to sleep that night.  the next day i still had goosebumps and shivers but most of the restless feeling was gone.  i mostly felt like i was getting over the flu, just exhausted.  emotionally, i had more of a handle on myself.  the dream still was creeping me out but at least i thought there was a possibility that it would go away.  i felt a little haunted by the dread feelings, but they were on their way out.  that night i slept again, and the next day i was probably 90% better.  now i’m normal.

seriously, though.  never again, not ever.

moving on.

hey, remember when i wrote a lot about the no ‘poo thing?  still going strong, although i thought i’d give a little update on my current regiment.  my hair is already a little prone to slick and grease, so i only use the apple cider vinegar every other time i “wash,” and when i do use it, i use a half teaspoon instead of a tablespoon.  i need to use the baking soda about every third day, or sooner if i work out or something (ha! like that ever happens).  the thing it’s really helped with is the volume of my hair.  it’s really fine, but also really thick, so it gets weighed down really easily.  when i was using regular conditioner it was a struggle to not have it look basically plastered to my head.  without all the heavy stuff on it, i actually have some volume without using root lifters and whatnot.  it also has a little more “grab” to it, which is nice.

n-e-wayzzz, work time!


One Response

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  1. Judi K said, on November 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    Makes me mad that doctors prescribe such ENORMOUS amounts of pain medication. I’m sorry you had to go through that…it happens to me on prescription pain pills too and I find just plain motrin or advil works just fine. Anyway, so glad you are on the mend and your elbow is recovering nicely. Hope to see you in The Woodlands over the holidays…sure miss you guys. Love, Judi

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